Chapter sixteen

16.
Mom parked the car, and we both struggled to help Bryn out. Her limbs seemed to have lost all strength, all ability to hold themselves together. And, on top of everything, it was raining. Great. We managed to get all three of us up the steps and into the lobby, though. I saw R and Sophia, dashing toward us, and some other people following behind them, but not quite as fast. I felt my legs turning to jelly, my knees buckling under the strain of trying to carry Bryn, and all the stress of just the whole situation. Then a pair of arms was around me, holding me up, hugging me. My dad.
“Hi.” He whispered. “I'm so proud of you.”
The next few hours were like a whirlwind of craziness. Bryn was whisked away to get some help, taking the drugs out of her system and everything, to be sure that she'd be fine. Sophia and my mom went – somewhere, I don't know where. My dad went with R and his dad to check on Bryn, and I was shown to a room for families of people admitted in the hospital, apparently the same room that R had been staying in. I took a hot shower, climbed into one of those hospital gowns since my clothes were drying, and tumbled into bed, exhausted. It was like my energy had been drained, sucked from me. I was asleep in minutes.
Sometimes when your situation is especially bad, or at least you think it is, you dream about good things, and happy places. What I dreamed about wasn't exactly happy, but it certainly gave me a new perspective on what had been happening. I was in a place that seemed familiar, but I had never been before. Probably someplace that didn't actually exist, just a figment of my imagination. I was trying on shoes, lots of them. I tried on pair after pair, but none of them fit. One was too big, and the other too small. Then, all of a sudden I was transported to a place that could be none other than a hospital operating room. -In the middle of an operation. Several doctors were scattered around the room, all in scrubs. Someone was lying on the table, and I went over to look and see. It was my mom! She was the one on the table! I tried to leap forward, to help her, but a huge doctor stepped in front of me and blocked my way. “No!” I cried, but they wouldn't let me through. They wouldn't let me help her. I took another step forward, and I was in a different place, like a whole other dream. I was standing outside, in front of my house. I looked around, and saw the whole Garcia family out on their front lawn next door, grandparents and all. I said something to Grace, who was holding the baby, Samuel. I don't remember what I said, but I remember her words, very clearly.
“Your mother is dead, Shane. Dead, Shane. Dead, Shane. You can't help her...” The words reverberated, bounding off the walls, pounding into my ears. “Dead, Shane.” “You can't help her.” “Dead, Shane.”
When I woke up, I knew I had to talk to R. And to Bryn. Even if it was only a dream, it had been realistic. Very realistic. I sat up in the bed, and saw my clothes draped over a chair, like I had left them last night. I slipped out of bed, making sure that nobody else was around, since those hospital gowns aren't very substantial in the back. I felt the clothes. They were dry. After a few minutes, I came out of the bathroom, fully dressed and ready for some breakfast. I was startled when I saw R standing there.
“Whoa! You surprised me!”
He smirked. “You are in my room, you know. And this was the only single room they had left. I had to share a room with Hilary last night.”
The expression on my face must have been displaying plenty of emotion, because R went on talking without making me say anything.
“Oh gosh, Shane, I'm just kidding. Actually it was Harold, and did you know that some people have one extra rib?” He put this kooky look on his face, and I snickered. It was so nice to have R back to his old self.
We left the room and he led the way to a cafeteria, where Sophia, my parents, and R's dad were all waiting. It took only a few minutes to grab some food, and then we went and joined them at a table.
“You sure slept like a log last night, Shane,” Sophia commented while munching on an apple. “But luckily your mom was around to tell us what had happened.” She glanced at my mom, and they smiled at each other, that secret kind of girl smile, like there's a secret that only the two of them know. I hated it, but tried not to let it show.
“Well, you would be tired too, if you went through what I went through last night.”
“Shane's right,” injected my mom, “I was there, and he did a fine job holding up. If anybody deserved to crash last night, it was him.”
“And crash you did,” R muttered. I hit him on the arm.
We continued eating in silence for a few minutes, until R's dad, John, broke the silence.
“So, I'll bet that Shane is wondering where Bryn is. Anybody want to tell him? “
I nodded eagerly. “Yeah, I really want to know, actually.” I didn't admit that I had mostly forgotten about her. That would just be mean, and I already felt guilty for thinking it. How could I have forgotten about her? But the night before just seemed like some blurred memory. How strange.
“I'll tell him,” my dad volunteered, “since no-one else seems to want to.”
I leaned forward, not wanting to miss a detail. I felt like I needed to make up for forgetting.
“So, the doctors ran several tests and such on Bryn after you went to bed. She had mostly just used pot, but somehow they seemed to find something else in her blood stream. I don't know what, but it got them kind of worried. I really don't know many of the details, but I don't think you really need to know them, either. The main thing is that Bryn is all right, and her system is mostly clean. She's sleeping right now, and you'll probably be able to see her later.”
“Good!” I was glad. The little part about finding some other drug had bugged me, but at least she was okay. I was satisfied. I lowered my voice a little, and decided it was safe to ask. “How's Mrs. Field doing?”
John Field raised his head. R kept his lowered. R's dad replied.
“Barbra? She's doing pretty well, actually. The doctors say she's fine to go home today, thank goodness. She'll have to come back for chemotherapy every week, but at least she's able to live at home. Oh, and just in case you're wondering, we've called the school, and all three of you are excused from your classes today, unless you'd like to go to school after lunch...” He looked at us high schoolers, and we all three shook our heads, unanimously.
He laughed. “All right, then. No school for today.” The meal was finished, and I followed everybody out to the lobby where we had spent a lot of our time yesterday. The grownups grouped together in a little circle, talking about things they obviously thought we didn't need to hear. So R, Sophia, and I made our own little circle, too. And we talked.
“If we're going to stay here, let's go to that teen rec room. 'Kay? This lobby is pretty boring, and I keep feeling like I can't talk any louder than a whisper.”
“And how is that a problem for us?” I asked, and she glared. Sophia could be pretty loud sometimes.
“I don't know if I can stand another minute in this place,” R said. “I'm like Bryn in that way. And you never know, I might start acting like her if I don't get out of here.”
“No!” Sophia and I breathed, at the same time. We then exchanged a glance. That was weird. R just laughed at us. It was then that the adults decided to come listen in to what we were saying. And then they told us their plan, which was actually fine with me.
“Here's what we're going to do.” My mom said. “John will stay here, of course, to help fill out a few more necessary papers and such. Then he'll go home with Barbra. I bet you three want a break from this stress, so we're giving you the day off, free to do whatever you want, together, or apart if you choose. It doesn't matter to us. I'm going home – because I personally need a rest also. Alan will take you anywhere if you want to be driven. Okay?”
None of us could object to that, of course, so we split our ways. When we were outside in the parking lot, we discussed what to do now that we were given such freedom.
“Not to sound like a party-pooper, you guys, but I kind of just want to go home and take a nap.” That was Sophia. I nodded, understanding how she felt. R nodded, too.
“Okay,” he said. “Go ahead. But me, personally, I'm wired. I got plenty of sleep last night – which is surprising, considering how much that Harold talked. Gosh, he was annoying. But anyway, would you mind hanging out with me, Shane?”
I thought about it. I didn't have to think long. I had slept like a rock the night before, and felt more rested than I had in a long time. Plus I was really hoping to have a nice, long talk with R.
“No problem!”
So my dad drove Sophia home, and then deposited R and me at the park. We had the place to ourselves.
“Just call my cell if you need anything,” Dad said, and then drove off. I was surprised that they were being so gracious, but thinking about it, we deserved it. We really did.
So we had a day of rest, first just hanging out at the park, swinging on the swings and acting like dorks since nobody else was around. I even managed to tell R about my dream.
“Hey, do you mind if I talk about something serious now?” I asked, right after we got done laughing from a joke he had told.
“Fine, I guess. If you have to.”
“I don't have to. But I think I should. See, I had this dream last night...” I described it to him, and he was quiet the whole time. I finished by saying, “So I kind of think I understand you know. I mean, gosh, that was probably the most realistic dream I've ever had. Um, yeah, I just felt like I should tell you.”
He kept being quiet for a few minutes. I let him. “Well, that's kind of cool, I guess.” He looked at me. “And I know that I'm not the only guy going through this, so I try to not let it get to my head. Besides, Mom might be okay, I just have to wait and find out. But it is kind of nice to know that my best friend understands me. Even if he is a wimp.”
“Hey!” The mood lightened again, and I was glad for that, but I was also glad I had mentioned the dream when I had. I think maybe it helped something, but even if it didn't, it was nice to get it off my chest.
Tuesday was back to the old grind – school. Routine might be nice sometimes, but I admitted that I was awfully thankful for that one day off. R, Sophia, and I all acted like nothing important had happened over the weekend, but we were just kidding ourselves. And we didn't want to have to tell everybody about it. Life seemed to be going pretty smoothly, for the most part. R's mom was back at home, and while she did tire out very quickly, and was on lots of painkillers, she was able to do some normal household chores. That helped the family a lot, just seeing that things could be partly normal. Bryn moved back home, also, and she seemed to be doing really well. No more smoking, at least. She still had a hard time seeing her mom around the house every day, but that was her own problem. Something that only she could deal with. I even had an idea, and suggested that she see a counselor. R didn't care much, but their dad thought it was a good idea.
“I'll mention it to her,” he said.
I didn't see much of Bryn since that Sunday, which seemed like an even more distant memory. But then, on Thursday, I was over at the Field's house, getting ready to go to the skateboard park.
“I need to go get something, one second,” R said, and dashed upstairs. I waited in the hallway for a little while, until I heard footsteps coming down the staircase.
“Hurry up, R!” I called.
Bryn came down, and looked at me. My face got a little warm.
“Oh, I thought you were your brother...”
“Well, it's not every day I get that.” she teased. “He's in the bathroom, so it might take a while. Hey Shane, I want to talk to you. Come into the kitchen, huh?”
She walked in to the other room without waiting for me to respond. So, I followed, instead of just standing there and feeling stupid.
When I walked in, Bryn was sitting at the kitchen table, stirring something steaming in a cup. “Sit down.” She gestured, and I took the spot across from her.
“What's up?” I asked. “I haven't seen you much since... lately.”
“Yeah, I know.” She nodded, sipping at her drink. “I've been staying home a lot. Staying clean.”
“Uh, that's good.”
“Well, I try.” She took another sip, and then changed the subject, surprising me. “So, my dad tells me you think I need a shrink. Should I be insulted?”
I gulped. Forgot about that. “No! I mean, I don't mean it personally or anything. Well, I do, but... ah, dang, I'm just making things worse, aren't I?”
“Yep, pretty much.” An amused smile was making it's way onto her face. “Fine, let me phrase it with another question: Do you think I'm crazy?”
“Can I answer that question with a question?”
“You just did.” She rolled her eyes.
“Oh. Well that's not what I meant. What I meant to ask was, do you think I'm crazy?”
“No. In fact you're one of the most sensible people I know, probably.”
“Wow. Thanks. But see, I've been going to this counselor at school. Long story. But he's really been helping me with some stuff. At first I thought he was totally stupid, but now I don't. He's actually a pretty cool guy. And he doesn't judge me or anything, you know? He just listens, and sometimes gives me advice. I thought maybe you could just give it a try. It might be good for you, you never know. It's not that I think you're crazy. It's not that I'm crazy. It's just that sometimes it's good to talk to people who are smarter than us.”
“That's what I'm doing right now.” She smiled, and did not look like she was joking. I stared a little. She continued. “Ha ha, your face looks funny. But you know what? Fine. If you think it's a good idea, I'll see the darn shrink. Okay?”
“Okay!”
Bryn smiled, and I think she was seriously leaning over to give me a hug, when R entered the room.
“Whoa!” He took a step back, faking losing his balance. “I'm gone for 5 minutes and when I come back here's my sister and my best friend, doing I-don't-want-to-know-what!”
We laughed at him, and Bryn explained. I stood up, getting ready to go, and she stood up too. Then, much to my surprise, she did give me a hug!
“Thanks, Shane. You've helped me more than you know.”
R and his sister both laughed at the expression on my face.