Chapter Twenty-five

25.
I was tired at school the next day. But when I saw R, it was all worth it. He was still wearing a long sleeved shirt, but besides that, he looked better than ever. His face was smiling, his eyes not looking so droopy as they had been lately (I guessed my eyes had switched places with his, since I had gotten barely any sleep).
“Hey, Shane,” he greeted me at my locker as the day was ending.
“Hi. You're looking good.”
“Am I? Great. But trust me, it's not as good on the inside. This is hard already.”
That worried me a little. But at least he had remembered it. That meant that I hadn't just dreamed everything last night. “Well, stick with it. I know you can do it.”
He grinned. “Don't forget your end of the deal! Thought you could get off easy, could you?”
I smiled, although I was insanely nervous on the inside. We had agreed that it could at least be someone that I don't normally talk to, so it didn't specifically have to be a complete stranger. But still, it was a huge leap for me. I'm doing it for R, I reminded myself, I can't back out. He needs this.
“Okay.” I spotted a subject, good as any, and hurried over before she left.
“Hi, Stephanie.”
Stephanie looked me over, like she was thinking who is this little bug and why is he talking to me? She was alone, thankfully. I couldn't stand doing this in front of some of her cronies. “Oh, yeah, Shane. Right?”
“That's me,” I tried to smile. Luckily I had some topic to talk with about her. “Um, I just wanted to say sorry for dropping out of the presidential campaign. After you nominated me and everything.” My insides were shivering, and I was breaking into a sweat. This was so hard for me to do.
She looked dazed for a minute, like she had forgotten all about it. She probably had, actually. “Oh, that? No problem. It was kind of just a dare, actually.”
“Yeah, I thought so.” I nodded. “Well, I have to go now. Bye!” I left her standing there, not waiting for her to say something back. I had gathered all my things up in my backpack already, so I just scooped it up, and made a quick exit, R hurrying behind me.
“Oh my goodness, Shane!” He was raving. “I didn't think you'd actually do it! And Stephanie – wow. She sure is fine. You're a brave, brave man! Even I wouldn't talk to Stephanie unless she started the conversation!”
I whirled around at him, planning to say some smart come back, but instead, when I opened my mouth, it just came out laughter. I couldn't help it. All my nervousness from inside had turned me slightly loopy.
R looked at my pointedly. “You're crazy. You know that, man?”
“Yeah, I do. I do.” I wiped my eyes. “Want to come over?”
“Sure,” he grinned.
We headed to my house laughing and joking. And I knew that things wouldn't always be the same between us, but I knew that things would be okay. Because R was my friend, and I was his friend, and friends help each other through things, through the good and the bad.
We both waved to my mom as we entered my home. I smelled something baking, and my stomach rumbled. I thought again how lucky I was – no, how blessed. I even gave my mom a hug before running up the stairs to my room.
R and I dropped our backpacks, then headed outside to play a little tackle football. It had rained the night before, so the ground was still a little slippery and muddy.
“All the better,” R grinned. I just laughed at him.
Mom questioned our sanity as we headed into the backyard to play.
“But it's freezing out there! And wet!” Moms will be moms, no matter what.
“We'll be fine,” I assured her. Just for good measure, and since I was feeling silly, I added in a childish voice, “Don't worry, Mommy!”
She laughed, flicking a dish towel at me, and I ran to answer the phone that had started ringing.
“Hello, this is Shane.”
“Shane!” James' voice flooded my ears. “Oops, sorry, didn't mean to shout.”
“What do you want, James?” I tried not to sigh. James was a great friend and everything, but I wasn't wanting to deal with another 'you need to look out for R' thing. Because I could really tell him everything that had happened the night before, now could I?
“Shane, I just wanted to say that I'm sorry for being such a wet blanket about your friend R. I was just really worried about him, and I thought that you would understand. I didn't know anybody else to tell. But it seems that maybe I didn't have anything to worry about, so, just, sorry.”
Needless to say, I was surprised and astounded. There I was, not wanting to hear James' words, but they were some of the words that I needed to hear. There was something he needed to hear also, though. “It's fine, James. Because actually, you were right. I shouldn't have blown you off. R's had a few... problems, shall we say, but I confronted him last night and we've worked it out. I think that's all I should tell you. But I want to say thanks for caring about him and seeing something when I didn't.”
There was an awkward pause where neither of us knew what to say. Then I had an idea. “Hey, do you want to come over? R and I are just about to start a game of football.”
“Sure! Your mom doesn't mind you playing in the mud? Surprising. But yeah, if you don't mind, I'd love to come!”
“Of course I wouldn't mind. Duh, I invited you. What they hey, while we're at it, call Kyle and Mike, too!”
“Why not?”
We hung up, and I went over to tell R that they were coming. I got nervous for a minute, thinking that maybe R wouldn't want them to come. I didn't even know if he liked them, or was friends with them. But he just said,
“Sure, why not? The more the merrier.”
And we were certainly all in a merry mood. All three other guys showed up in several minutes, and we hurried out into the chill late-autumn air to play a good, rousing game of football.
Tons of goals were scored by both teams (especially since I didn't have a very big backyard, which meant there wasn't a very big playing field). The teams switched up several times, and no matter who we played with, lots of mud, dirt, and grass always flew, and laughs and cheers filled the air. R fit in right along with the other guys, and they didn't even question anything when R had some problems using his left arm/hand/wrist. I was so thankful to them. They acted completely normal. I knew that if I was in their place, I wouldn't be able to. But that thought made me think further. How different is my spot from theirs right now? Because, I'm the one with the insider information. I'm the one who really actually knows what's going on. But I'm acting normal too, aren't I? Yes, I was. I really was acting like myself. Me, Shane Baskett, and nobody else. I was me, myself, shy and reserved sometimes, then wild and spontaneous other times. And if anybody didn't like that, well, then that was their problem.
“Whoa!” My thoughts were interrupted by a football spiraling straight towards my head. I ducked, and it landed on the ground right behind me.
“That was a close one!” Mike seemed slightly impressed.
“Sorry, Shane!” Kyle, the thrower, ran up to me and helped me up from the heap I had fallen in (when I said ducked I really meant fell down on the ground because I wouldn't have been able to do anything otherwise). “It went way wide. But man, you could've caught it! Where was your brain at?”
I stood up, not bothering to try and brush myself off. We were all plastered in mud already anyway. “In an alternate universe. So, hey, what's the score again?”
They chided me for not paying attention, and then we went back to the game. Finally, when we were just too worn out, we clomped inside for some down time. My mom immediately made us take off our filthy clothes, and she set off washing them. Luckily the guys had worn layers, because I don't think neither Kyle nor Mike would have fit into my several-sizes-smaller pants and shirts.
We all plopped onto the couch in the computer room, having decided on playing a video game over watching a movie. Or perhaps we would do both. A war game was put in, and controllers passed around. Having 5 players and only 4 game controllers, I opted to be the odd man out. So I watched my friends brutally slay each other, and they had a ball doing it. Nobody noticed me being quieter, more thoughtful than I had been before.
There were my 4 best guy friends. R, who had been my best friend for such a long time. James, Kyle, and Mike, who had, just some weeks before, had seemed like guys who would never be interested in somebody like me. My friends. I thought of Sophia, the sole female person who I actually considered a friend. I knew more friendships would grow. I knew almost every other person on the planet (well, every other person I knew, at least) had more friends than I did. But I didn't care. Because those friends were enough for me, and I didn't need more, not right then. They were my buddies, they were special. And I was glad for the time I got to spend with them. I could tell that R was probably thinking some of the same things, too. When the other three boys had left, R turned to me.
“Hey, Shane?” He asked, looking shy (for once, the tables had turned) and maybe even a little embarrassed.
“Yeah, what?”
“...Thank you.”
I smiled, asking, “Hey, R?”
“What?” He replied, raising his eyebrows quizzically.
“You're welcome.”