Chapter nine

9.

“What's wrong? Have you heard anything new from R?” I asked.
“Yes, well... yes. But I don't want to talk about it while driving.” She spoke hesitantly, softly, and that made me even more scared than I already was.
If that's how I was feeling, how was R doing?
The whole ride home was silent. Mom had tried turning on the radio once, but it just made our silence sound even bleaker, somehow, so she turned it back off. I had never been more grateful that I lived in walking distance from the high school, only a 5 minute drive. The minute we were inside our house, even before we could leave the front hallway, I turned and faced my mom. I didn't say a word, but she understood me, and led the way into the living room, so we could have a real talk.
She sat on one of the couches I sat on the other one, facing her. My arms were folded, waiting for some explanation. I felt like pacing the floor back and forth, but I just sat there silently, until finally she started telling me what was going on.
“I drove Rupert to the hospital, you know, so he could have a chat with his sister.”
I nodded. “Yes, Bryn. R told me.”
“Right. Well, when we arrived, I went inside with him so I could talk to his father for a little while. The poor man! He looked so, well, distraught. I can't think of any other word to place it. He had circles under his eyes and his hair was wild. Practically looked like he needed to be admitted himself. I felt so sorry for him, Shane. And I know Rupert did too, at least I think so. That boy has enough on his mind right now, though, so he just went right over to his sister and started talking to her, although I couldn't hear what he was saying, and of course I didn't listen, anyway. So I went over to talk to Mr. Field, and he told me that the doctors...” she started choosing her words much more carefully. I could tell. “The doctors had been taking lots of tests on his wife. They had found she has a tumor in her brain. And... she has cancer. Lung cancer, specifically, but they think it's already spreading to other parts of her bodies, which is why she has the brain tumor. It's malignant. I don't think Rupert even knows yet, Shane. Shane?”
I sunk my head into my lap, shaking it back and forth. This isn't happening. It's all a bad dream. Everything, all of it, including Mr. Quirk. But especially R's mom. She can't have cancer. She just can't, it's not possible They've always been so healthy... All of a sudden, a change swept over me, and I sat straight up. What was I doing?
Sitting at home on my couch, cowering? But, why? R was probably all alone at the hospital, without any friends besides his dad, who couldn't have been much comfort, and his sister, who probably needed him to comfort her. So why wasn't I doing anything to try and help him? After all, it was his mom. Not mine. My mom was the one sitting on the couch next to me, an arm over my shoulder (I didn't remember her moving over, but she must have). I stood up, brushing her arm away.
“Where's the phone?”
She smiled, sadly, but it was a genuine smile. “That's my boy. He'll need you.”
Yes, I agreed with her silently, he needs me. He needs a friend, and that's the only thing I can do to help him, is to be his friend.
I picked up the phone, and dialed R's home number, but swiftly hung up. He wouldn't be at home. I tried his cell, and he didn't answer at first, so I kept trying. Finally on my 3rd try, just as I was about to give up, he answered, on the 6th ring, of course.
“Hi, Shane.”
He knew. He knew what I knew, about his mom. He probably found out at the same time I did, because I could hear a hint of shock in his voice, mingled in with the many other emotions he was trying to desperately to hide. He couldn't hide them from me, but he would still try. I knew him.
“R, I... my mom just told me. I thought you might want to talk.”
He said nothing, so I changed the subject, just slightly.
“How's Bryn?”
“Okay. She still hasn't said much, especially after we... heard the news... but I got her to talk with me some. She feels like it's her fault, because she was the only person home with Mom when she had her “episode”, as dad calls it. I tried to tell her that it's not her fault, not anybody's fault...” his voice trailed off.
“It's not her fault. You know it's not your fault either, right?”
“Of course I know that. I'm not stupid. These things happen everyday, to everybody, people all over.”
He was covering up. Bluffing, in a way.
“R, I want to help you.”
“You can't, Shane. This isn't a puzzle you can fix. Not a mystery you can solve. It's plain and simple. My mom has cancer-” his voice broke and I could barely stand all the emotion in that one conversation. “-And she's dying. You can't do anything about it. Goodbye, Shane.”
He hung up, and the phone hung limply in my hand. Mom entered the kitchen where I had been talking, and gave me a hug. She might have been listening in on the other handset, but even if she wasn't, I'm sure she knew I needed support, just from the look on my face. I sent up a silent thanks for moms, and then collapsed against the counter.